Probably.

Listen y’all…I know shower sex seems nice and romantic and really intimate and it is…for about 2 minutes.

Until you can’t get into a good position because the shower is so damn small because NO ONE’S SHOWER IS BIG ENOUGH FOR SEX (Unless you’re well off or in an upscale hotel).  So your leg is twisted and he’s trying like hell to put his mouth on your boob but it lands somewhere between your collarbone and shoulder because there’s no room to bend down that far.  

And the water washes away the natural “lube” so all of the sudden there’s chafing.  Because make no mistake, water is not the same as nature’s lube and there’s no slippy slidey anymore.  There is however, lots of burny pinchy.

So you’re both in awkward positions.  Both terrified one of you is going to slip and take both of you down.  You’ll probably both end up in traction from all of the “you shouldn’t stretch that way” stretching you’re doing….and it’s just…such a pain in the ass.

And inevitably the hot water runs out.  So you’re wet, cold, in a fucked up position and so concerned with busting your ass that there is not going to be any coming any time soon.

My advice is to hold the actual penetration sex until you’re out of the shower.  Sure, put your mouth wherever you want it.  Fingers too.  I mean…go to town with those things.

But sex in a shower is….leave it to the porn professionals who get to take a break during those scenes because even they know “THIS DOES NOT WORK!”

And I know someone’s gonna come marching into my inbox with “OMG Susie shower sex is great.  You must be doing it wrong.”  And just…don’t.  Because no.

Originally posted by allreactions